(Except not really rest)
I did it! Yesterday I finished the last of the paintings I was hoping to complete for the upcoming art festival. ‘Tethered,’ the long canvas featuring a guinea fowl holding a death frog balloon is done and I’m very proud of it. As soon as it dries, hopefully tomorrow, I’ll usher it off to the framers with grave import and no small amount of accomplishment.
I realize now that all of the deadlines and working around the clock have helped to keep anxiety at bay in wake of the upcoming showing. Because now that the finish line has been crossed I’ve got a lot of cycles to be able to fill with worry.
I’m one of those people who avoids the things that cause the most pain. I’m not talking about physical pain, really; I am covered with tattoos and have a high threshold. I’m referring to avoiding the spiritual anguish of being vulnerable, going well outside one’s comfort zone, putting oneself in the spotlight.
Today, I feel nervous.
I am still making dolls, which I love. And going over all the logistics required for erecting a booth and showing one’s art, which — if you’ve never done it before — is an awful lot. But in between I’m continually asking myself what I got myself in to.
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be too busy to worry again.